Becoming a new mama is the most BEAUTIFUL thing you can experience. I mean, you literally grow a human inside of you for nine months, birth them, which is incredible in-and-of-itself, and then get to have this tiny human to love on for the rest of your life… Although amazing, being a new mom can also be OVERWHELMING, EXHAUSTING & full of UNSOLICITED ADVICE (no, my baby does NOT need socks…for the 100th time).

During the earliest days of being a brand new mama, I found myself constantly apologizing. Yes, apologizing. Saying ‘sorry’ - sorry for being tired, sorry for not doing things the way that I thought I should, sorry for saying ‘no’ to something. I found myself apologizing so often, that I became depressed, and questioning if I was a good enough mom. Then one day, I just decided I was done. I was done apologizing, because I realized that I’m a new mom! I have so much to learn, and on top of that I have SO MANY different emotions, and that’s not anything to be ashamed of.

In this post, I’m going to share with you 5 mindset shifts that EVERY first-time mama needs to hear- from kicking the guilt to the curb, to standing strong in the choices that you make as the parent. Whether you’re in the trenches of sleep deprivation, navigating your postpartum recovery, these are the things I stopped apologizing for, and you should too.

If you’ve ever googled “How to survive as a New Mom”, “Postpartum guilt”, or “Setting boundaries as a new mom”, this one is made for YOU!

5 THINGS I STOPPED APOLOGIZING FOR AS A NEW MOM

NEEDING HELP

I will never forget the time my husband and I BOTH got the stomach flu, 4 hours apart. My son was a few months old at the time. For me, it hit at 10PM, for my husband 2AM. I remember waking up, with the shivers, and shakes, and thinking; “how in the world are we going to take care of our son today?”. We had to call my husbands mom, and luckily she was able to take him for the day, so we could recover. I FELT SO GUILTY.. I felt like I was sending my son away so I could lay on the couch (I literally had the stomach flu 🥴). No one explains to you the mom-guilt that you feel over the smallest things, but, guess what? Parenting is not supposed to be a solo job, and the moment I accepted that, my whole mindshift changed. It is okay to ask for help. It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you wise.

Now? My husband and I need a babysitter to go on a date once-in-a-while? I ask. I’m really not feeling good, and need help. I ask. I hand over the baby, and I do what I need to do. Because, mom burnout, especially as a new mom, is real, and it can be scary.. Even superwoman needs to rest…

If you’re struggling with the pressure to “do it all”, let this be your reminder; asking for help as a new mom is NOT failure-its survival. AND, it makes you a better mom in the long run.

CANCELLING PLANS

I’m not going to lie, I told myself I was going to be like a European Mom. My baby was going to come with me everywhere, and do everything with me, all of the time. But lets be real.. That’s not how reality is.. And to be completely honest, babies can be very unpredictable! I have canceled more plans because my little one is sick (even the day of 😬) than I have in my entire life. Sometimes, I’ve even cancelled plans because I’m legit EXHAUSTED from the full day I just encountered, and I have nothing left in me to socialize.

Whether baby is sick, or they slept terrible the night before, or maybe they’re just really fussy and you can’t get them to settle - I’ve stopped apologizing for protecting my own peace.

Setting boundaries as a new mama isn't rude- its necessary! And, trust me, the people who love you, they will understand.

NOT “BOUNCING BACK"

LET ME TELL YOU, before being pregnant these words came out of my mouth: “I will never be lazy during pregnancy”, “I’m going to workout EVERYDAY”, “I’m going to get my body back easily”. Well ya girl had gestational diabetes, blew up like a water balloon (literally), and gained more weight than I ever thought I would. The weight is slowly coming off now, 9 months later, but I’m going to let you in on a secret… I wore my maternity clothes months after my son was born, I still don’t fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans, and I STILL wear my maternity leggings/biker shorts all of the time, and I definitely have stretch marks that did not exist before pregnancy.. BUT, I’m going to tell you the most amazing realization that I ever had.

My body created a LIFE…the most powerful, and amazing thing it will ever do.

The moment that I shifted my mindset, I moved forward. Maybe not in the fitness realm, we're still working on that. However, mentally, I was able to let go and move forward. Give yourself grace. Embrace your body, stretch marks & all!

THE MESS - OF IT ALL

**This is what my living room looks like right now…**

I’m sitting on my couch in un-matching pajamas with no make-up on, I’ve cried more this past week than I have in a while (who knows why 🥴), the laundry?-Oh that’s definitely not done…

I used to apologize when someone would walk into my home and it was messy. I mean, for real, one dish in the sink, and I would freak. Now? I can’t even see my counters, let alone a clean sink? I thought I needed to be perfect. I welcome people into my home these days no matter what my home looks like because that's the real, raw, and beautiful chaos that motherhood is. The dishes don’t need to be done right now, that can wait. The toys on the floor? That means a baby is there growing, and learning. Maybe you have on un-matching pajamas, or a coffee stained t-shirt. That’s not a mess, it’s love-in-action. Newborn life isn’t ‘Pinterest Perfect’, and when I realized that, I was much happier with the mess because it meant that a brand new baby was being loved in my home.

DOING WHATS BEST FOR MY BABY

This one is hard. I mean, the opinions are everywhere.. - sleep, pacifiers, screen time.. You name it, someone has an opinion on it. For a while, I would apologize for not doing something the way that someone else wanted me too. I mean, they’re older.. They’ve had kids.. They surely know what they’re talking about right?.. Wrong.. Every baby is different, every mama is different, and what matters the most is that I’m trusting my gut and do what feels right. So, if you need permission, here it is.. It’s OKAY to say no, you know what’s best for your baby and what works for your family.

In case no one has told you lately - You’re doing a GREAT JOB! Navigating motherhood is nothing short of crazy. You have so much pressure as a new Mama already, and making sure that you’re perfect for someone else, shouldn’t be a part of that pressure. It’s time to ditch the apologies, set boundaries, and lean into what actually serves you, your baby & your family.

Whether you’re in the newborn trenches, navigating postpartum recovery, or just figuring it out one coffee at a time, you deserve grace. You deserve rest. And you deserve to feel CONFIDENT doing motherhood on your terms.

XOXO,

Lyss

5 Things I Stopped Apologizing For as a New Mom